I cannot believe I had to write in about this, and though many of my matches have been wonderful people, there were some rotten apples I felt I needed to address. Many of men, both new to and familiar with the community, are seriously ruining the vibe with the feral behaviour, criticism, and lack of effort on this platform. Rant loading in 3…2…1...

‍FIRST, ON MESSAGES, HOLD THE SEX

‍There are people who would love to jump right into it with you, I don’t. So find those profiles, don’t force your way into mine. I have had too many men immediately start “mistress-ing” me before names have been exchanged when I thought their profiles were “safe.” I mean it’s filled out, maybe some nice photos, cute dog… SAFE.

Nothing about what I have written in my profile screams that I want to play immediately. I don’t even know you and that is not how that works most of the time. You know, when I say it’s okay, or I will change the setting of the chat. Don’t tell me about what you want to do with me/me to do to you/ we to do with who, in the first few messages of the conversation. UNLESS I ask. That’s it. There are places to go for that, it’s not here.

‍DEBATING

‍The reason I, personally, came to a Chyrpe was to find a boyfriend who likes to be bossed around… in more ways than one. I didn’t come here to have my beliefs and boundaries questioned or trifled with. For example, I have hobbies that take up some time, and I explain this early on to see if our schedules could align, because I like to respect each other’s availability, etc. I once came back to message after message, questioning my absence and “open communication” style. After. I just. Explained my availability.

Look. I get it. It’s okay to be excited about a person, but it doesn’t feel like someone is genuinely  interested in me if I have to keep explaining things like this… It also doesn’t make me feel excited to return to the conversation… So, truly look into a person’s profile to make sure their lifestyle aligns with yours, or it could really jumble up the expectations.

‍PUT YOUR INTENTIONS IN YOUR PROFILE

‍I don’t work with numbers, but I love a good success rate. This means, I’m going to try to fit as much interesting info about myself into my little profile, in order to attract what I’m looking for. Sometimes it doesn’t seem as if it is read at all. You want to know how to avoid the annoying “do me, do me, do me” scenario I mentioned above? Fill out your profile. Deducing what you are into isn’t that difficult, when you have the bottom of your profile space to tell me. If you aren’t looking for anything serious, write that. Just want something light and fun? Write that. Don’t engage with people who are looking for the opposite. It wastes your, and my time. I hate when my time is wasted.