Move Over, Alpha Males: Women Reveal What They Really Want In A Partner

Key points

• Over half (53%) of women would not actively look for an ‘alpha male’ in a partner
• More than three fifths (64%) believe that dating one often results in a relationship centred around one person’s needs
• Women are placing far greater importance on emotional connection compared to men, with 66% valuing a supportive partner, compared to just 53% of men
• Relationships expert, Gigi Engle, shares her top three dating myths that men need to stop believing about women
• The leading female-led dating app Chyrpe offers a new way to date, where confidence, emotional connection and female-led relationships (FLRs) take centre stage

The reign of the ‘alpha male’ is officially being challenged, a new study found that over half (53%) of women say they would not actively look for an ‘alpha male’ in a partner, with seven in 10 (70%) saying they would prefer a partner who is supportive, emotionally available and happy to let them take the lead.

Despite the enduring stereotype of the dominant, assertive “alpha male”, women are placing far greater importance on emotional connection - a quality men appear to significantly underestimate. While 66% of women value a supportive partner, just 53% of men recognise how important it is to women.

The same gap appears when it comes to loyalty (65% of women vs 52% of men), kindness (65% vs 47%) and good listening skills (52% vs 43%), suggesting men may be overlooking the very traits women value most in a partner, according to new research from Chyrpe, the leading platform for female-led dating.

Few women are drawn to typical ‘alpha male’ traits in a partner - with just 3% looking for control, 6% dominance and 14% assertiveness.

However, the expectation for men to conform to traditional ideas of masculinity remains strong, with a third of men (33%) saying they feel pressured by social media to embody the “alpha male” stereotype, while a worrying three in 10 (30%) admit they face ridicule from male friends if they don’t take on an alpha role in their relationship.

These expectations may also be making emotional openness more difficult, with a shocking two fifths (41%) admitting they don’t think their partner would respond positively if they were to show emotional vulnerability.

The study also revealed a striking gap between fantasy and reality when it comes to dominant male characters. While over half (55%) of women agree that alpha males are only attractive in fiction, nearly two thirds (64%) believe that dating one in real life often leads to a one-sided relationship, where one person’s needs take centre stage - and it’s not theirs.

This may help explain why 45% of women say alpha men are often intimidated by their success or achievements, resulting in three-quarters (76%) preferring to have control over their own lives rather than have someone tell them what to do.

Yet, despite these preferences, a third (34%) of UK adults believe female-led relationships remain underrepresented in film and television, highlighting a gap between the relationship dynamics women want to see and those portrayed on screen.

For Chyrpe, the findings point towards a fundamental shift in relationship dynamics. Female-led relationships offer a modern alternative to traditional gender roles, giving women greater agency in how their relationships work while creating space for partners to build relationships around communication, trust, mutual respect and individual needs.

Chyrpe’s dedicated relationship expert, Gigi Engle, speaks on the latest findings: “With 70% of women saying they want supportive, emotionally available men rather than an ‘alpha male’, it’s clear that traditional ideas about attraction are shifting. Men are often told that they need to be dominant and in control to be desirable, while women are expected to be pursued and happy to let someone else take the lead.”

“Chyrpe’s data suggests that many women are instead looking for partners who communicate openly, respect their needs and help build a relationship based on mutual fulfilment. Whether that’s a traditional partnership or a female-led relationship, the growing trend is clear: women increasingly want the freedom to define relationship dynamics on their own terms. It’s this desire for greater choice, agency and authenticity in dating that platforms like Chyrpe are helping to support.”

Gigi shares her top three dating myths that men need to stop believing about women:

Myth 1: Women always want men to make the first move.

We’re still conditioned to think of men as the pursuers and women as the pursued, but this leaves little room for women who want to initiate, express their desires directly, or take an active role in shaping their relationships. There’s nothing less attractive about a woman who knows what she wants and goes after it. Mutual attraction doesn’t need to follow a prescribed script, and women shouldn’t have to wait to be chosen when they are perfectly capable of choosing their relationships and how they function within them.

Myth 2: Men should naturally be the ones in control of a relationship.

Traditional dating culture often assumes that men should lead, but there’s no rule that says relationship leadership belongs to one gender. In FLRs, women take the lead in decision-making, establish the relationship’s direction, or guide its dynamic, with a partner who has openly consented to this and actually wants that arrangement. Couples should understand and respect each other’s preferences, rather than defaulting to gendered expectations simply because that’s what they’ve been taught to do.

Myth 3: Women who are assertive about their desires are intimidating or controlling.

Knowing what you want, communicating your needs, and being comfortable taking the lead are positive things, not detractors to your value in a relationship. In a healthy relationship, both partners should be able to express their preferences without being made to feel like they’re doing something wrong. Female-led relationships create space for women to embrace their agency and for partners who find that confidence attractive to build relationships on their own terms.

Join Chyrpe and discover a new way to date, where confidence, emotional connection and female-led relationships take centre stage.

About the Study

• The research was conducted by 3Gem, among a sample of 2,000 UK Adults (natrep 18+). The data was collected between 15.10.2026 - 21.10.2026.